I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
