Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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