I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize