My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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