Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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