Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
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