Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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