DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
