so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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