What a fucking waste of an outfit
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
