Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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