You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
