He disabled his match.com account in front of me
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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