After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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