This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He shit in the fireplace
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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