we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
