did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
