so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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