so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You made out with two different species that night
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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