He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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