Fuck appropriateness.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
