how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
