Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
