I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Terrible idea I love it
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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