I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
