I wannas sexs uuuuu
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
