Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
We had to coat check the pizza.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
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