you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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