Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry bfjdksfdas hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(940): View more from Texas

Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.

Fav 25 892 3342
share tweet
(847): View more from Illinois

We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.

Fav 13 3801 1163
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(314): View more from Missouri

Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.

Fav 25 5198 1251
share tweet
(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.

(1-403): View more from Alberta, CA

Your godly.

Fav 13 4492 1435
share tweet
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.

Fav 6 5042 1796
share tweet
(724): View more from Pennsylvania

All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.

Fav 4 1369 1990
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(314): View more from Missouri

You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard

Fav 4 2541 1273
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(508): View more from Massachusetts

Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list

Fav 4 977 627
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note

Fav 0 67 4
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT