my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
