Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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