I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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