Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
