I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I just blew my weed a kiss
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
