its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
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