How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
