I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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