we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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