Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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