hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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