are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
