Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
