we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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