In the future we'll all be gay
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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