My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
