Since when is my name a synonym for head?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
It's shark week go big or go home
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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