i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
