Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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