dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
