idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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