she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
