no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
