I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize