Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
