Already got asked if we're dating
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
