p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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