just come out here and I will go home with you...
too bad you live with your parents still
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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