maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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