You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
