Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
