she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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