Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
It's just like the Real World with babies
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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