I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
