Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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