no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
