I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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