Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
my poor anus
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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